Am I Rude?
Once again, I have lost a family member. And once again there is the painful event starring me square in the face.
The Funeral.
I believe in always going to the funeral. With very few exceptions, I have went. I can remember before even turning 20, spending unmentionable hours in Farley Funeral Home. No matter who had passed that was the funeral home of choice it seemed and there was always several days/hours of showings. So I don't know any other way, than to go. I mean it is rude to not go isn't it?
I do think it is the right thing to do. Always. Even tho Always going to the funeral, may mean that I have to do right thing when I really, really, really, don't feel like it. By not feeling like it, I mean I have simply had just about my fill of death in the past few years. It isn't an inconvenience for me to go. There is nothing I have to do otherwise that would keep me from going. I am not going to be remembered for the one who always went to funerals. I just do not wish to go.
I just believe it is the thing to do and I have come to realize that its just one of life's inevitable calamities that I share with my family & friends. But some days in the past few years when someone I love or know has passed, I have simply wanted to say a prayer for the family from my own home, is that wrong? Is that being rude? Have I crossed some sort of bridge to nowhere?
In 2000 I had to attend my best friends funeral. That was the hardest. I am glad I went. But I couldn't help but think over and over, what is happening? Why doesn't everyone stop talking? Don't they realize my best friend just died? What is the matter with all these people? It was hard realizing the world wasn't going to stop because my heart was breaking. Then I remember on the second day looking around and thinking about the first showing and at how many people were there. You could hardly move for all the people. During the procession I turned and looked back, the memory of it still takes my breath away. The most powerful and humbling thing I've ever seen were all these inconvenienced people who believe in always going to the funeral.
I have had to endure in the past 6 years many more deaths. My mother, several Aunts, Uncles, a few in-laws, and cousins and now another cousin.
I take it a day at a time, and try to do the right thing, the sometimes-inconvenient task, like taking a few hours out of a day to go to a funeral, to a show a friend that he or she is not alone in their grief, and to remind myself of the insignificance of so many of my own feelings.
But then I ask myself, would it be rude of me if I didn't go to a funeral of a loved one?
Geez, I am so conflicted.
The Funeral.
I believe in always going to the funeral. With very few exceptions, I have went. I can remember before even turning 20, spending unmentionable hours in Farley Funeral Home. No matter who had passed that was the funeral home of choice it seemed and there was always several days/hours of showings. So I don't know any other way, than to go. I mean it is rude to not go isn't it?
I do think it is the right thing to do. Always. Even tho Always going to the funeral, may mean that I have to do right thing when I really, really, really, don't feel like it. By not feeling like it, I mean I have simply had just about my fill of death in the past few years. It isn't an inconvenience for me to go. There is nothing I have to do otherwise that would keep me from going. I am not going to be remembered for the one who always went to funerals. I just do not wish to go.
I just believe it is the thing to do and I have come to realize that its just one of life's inevitable calamities that I share with my family & friends. But some days in the past few years when someone I love or know has passed, I have simply wanted to say a prayer for the family from my own home, is that wrong? Is that being rude? Have I crossed some sort of bridge to nowhere?
In 2000 I had to attend my best friends funeral. That was the hardest. I am glad I went. But I couldn't help but think over and over, what is happening? Why doesn't everyone stop talking? Don't they realize my best friend just died? What is the matter with all these people? It was hard realizing the world wasn't going to stop because my heart was breaking. Then I remember on the second day looking around and thinking about the first showing and at how many people were there. You could hardly move for all the people. During the procession I turned and looked back, the memory of it still takes my breath away. The most powerful and humbling thing I've ever seen were all these inconvenienced people who believe in always going to the funeral.
I have had to endure in the past 6 years many more deaths. My mother, several Aunts, Uncles, a few in-laws, and cousins and now another cousin.
I take it a day at a time, and try to do the right thing, the sometimes-inconvenient task, like taking a few hours out of a day to go to a funeral, to a show a friend that he or she is not alone in their grief, and to remind myself of the insignificance of so many of my own feelings.
But then I ask myself, would it be rude of me if I didn't go to a funeral of a loved one?
Geez, I am so conflicted.
posted by dona at 1/05/2010
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