Blood Pressure, Ice and a GPS......

I cannot remember when I was out and about the week of Christmas. If I did any shopping I usually got it all done way before December. And if I needed any groceries I was usually so organized I didn't need to go out. But the last few years, Everything is anything but usual. So I was not out shopping this day, B had asked if we had a "couple of hours" to spare to watch Baby K that morning. I had been watching the news and knew there was going to be some freezing rain coming that day...supposedly around 4pm. But in Indiana...you just NEVER know on the weather. So I told him no problem as long was it was a "couple of hours" and nothing more because as much as I love him his timing is just like Grandpa S's. (In other words he is slow...but sure....BUT SLOW....VERY SLOW) If he says 2pm....it is at least 3pm...you get the picture. Anyhow he assured me he would be back before the freezing rain started and I should be home way before.....and it was important as he needed help and this is what Grandma's and Grandpa's are supposed to do...right?.....right? Please somebody tell me I am right. SO we went around 8 am....and of course just like a good son and doing EXACTLY what his mother thinks he will do....doesn't make it home in time. But M does. Around 1pm. But just like Indiana weather......the freezing rain was early. We got past the airport which is about halfway home without too much problem, and then there it was...... One of those road signs or whatever you call those digital signs they have on the highways now (we have only had them around here in the last couple of years) that said there were several crashes west of a road that was an exit 20 miles before where we usually get off the highway to get home. And it said to take an alternate route. WHAT? all alternate routes towards home in freezing rain is just not a particularly good thing to do as they are country roads.....you know all hilly/windy/curvy and definitely surely to be slippery today. But we were doing ok and so far the traffic was not too bad at all. We were too close to exit where the sign was and do it safely so went on and hoped we could make it to the next one as it was the one to get off at if the sign was correct. But so far, It almost seemed like we were going to beat the odds (and the warning traffic sign) and make it all the way home on the interstate. HA There it was...the first sign of a crash...or what seemed to be what was left of one. There were a couple of cars off the road in the ditch...but the people were out and it seemed as if they were cleaning up...so we thought again...the sign may have just not been updated. HA HA It seemed like a couple of times we saw a car or two off the road. Then there is was this truck, or what was left of it. Turned over and I was not prepared for what I saw. All Emergency vehicles were there. It seemed like it was just a one vehicle accident. That was the moment I got a bit nervous. It seemed like only a few miles later and BAM...dead stop. We were at a point where it was too dangerous to try to U-Turn it and go back as it was getting more and more icy. We had to keep our Heat full blast on the Defroster to keep the front windshield and wiperblades from freezing up. We were only a mile from the next exit, which was only 10 miles then from home. I begged the Shankster to get off there as we could go either south or north to another way home. Not the best way from just 10miles from home in the freezing rain....but we didn't really want to stay in the stopped traffic either, especially if it got any worse. That mile seemed like an eternity. Finally we made it and the Shankster proceeded up the ramp. I had forgotten what an uphill ramp it was. Or it maybe just seemed very uphill in the freezing rain.....Everyone in front of us were not getting up the ramp and were sliding off to one side or the other and one car in front of us even slid back towards us and then back over to the side. I thought then I was going to lose it as we have never driven this particular vehicle in the snow before...let alone ice. But the Shankster did a great job and we got up that ramp when no one else did. We really wanted to go to the right/north but there was a jack-knifed semi and several cars off the road that way and our car seemed to go towards the south/left so the Shankster just went with it. Besides...there seemed to be a trail of Sand/mix on the road that way so we were sure we had gotten on the path of a DOT truck. YAY.... Now we have traveled this path many, many times over the past million years and we had even had to go this way only a week ago as there was an accident on the same road and in the dark I might add and we made it home in one piece. So not a problem. HA Geez, what a couple of idiots are we anyway? We went quite a way without incident and with the sand/mix still on our side. Then it hit me...why could I still see the interstate? You can usually see it for a bit as the side road will go along side of it and then turn more south and then west. But it seemed like we were seeing it way past longer than usual. That should have been our wake up call ......but NOOOOOOOO As I said...a couple of Idiots. Finally we didn't see the interstate anymore and I was almost calm again. But We drove and drove and drove and something was just not adding up....I was not seeing anything I knew. And I know this road. It should have taken us no longer than 15 minutes to get home and even if it got icy maybe 30 minutes...After all it was only us on the road.....Everybody else was on the interstate....Then all of a sudden...there it was...the interstate...The Shankster thought we made it....But then I thought you won't see that if we made it...this road will take us right up to the house...not the interstate.......WHAT? Where the heck are we anyway? We had went full circle...BACK to where we got off the interstate. WHAT? What the heck happened? Did we just enter and come out the other side of the Bermuda Triangle? I could not believe it. We didn't get back on the interstate cause it had not moved in the hour we took to drive around in the country in the freezing rain in an 8 shaped circle....or whatever. That guy that was beside us with the horse trailer was still there in the same place. So we turned around. Tried it again. Surely we must have been so cautious of the roads we just missed something...didn't make a curve when we should have, didn't go up that hill when we should have....or something. But then we found ourselves on a gravel road. What? I explained to the Shankster that something was wrong as we do not drive on a gravel road ever this way...this road was a paved road. He also knew this but said to me that he was happy to be on the gravel road as it had gotten a LOT ICIER and the gravel road was like a piece of cake....... HA....or so he thought.... We saw ourselves coming to a T in the road...where you have to go Right or Left. We saw an SUV sitting there. It must have been a stop sign...but we were at least a mile from him and he sat there until we got within a cars length...then he took off....but slow as it was icy. Yeah on the gravel road. We could not stop for the first time. We were sure to hit him....but finally he took off and He was gone but we were goners ....we thought...The Shankster did a pretty decent job cause as luck would have it there happened to be a drive right in front of us......(kind of a hidden drive) we skidded up into it. Thank God...we thought we were going into a ditch. Holy Crap. There was a guy behind us so we backed up before he was anywhere near us and stopped hoping to get some directions from him as we were lost but good this time and we had NO IDEA whatsoever of which way to go. We rolled down our window, waved and he acknowledged us by shaking his head all the while with a phone stuck in the other ear and just drove past us. WHAT? What is wrong with people? Lucky for us a REALLY nice lady finally came up on us and we got directions from her. From this point it was really getting icy. We had our windows down as the Shankster kept telling me I needed to stick my head out mine as my face/ears/neck was beet red...he was sure my Blood pressure was sky high. I was really, really nervous. But I was sure I was just hot from the heat in the car. But I was really, really nervous. I mean I had my imaginary brake on and my fingers were clutched into the armrest. Really, Really nervous. We got within 2/3 miles from our house. YAY...... We made it.......then BAM...what? NOT again? There was a line of cars stopped as a small hill was keeping a van from getting over it. Nothing but ice. We waited and waited....then from about 10 cars behind us an idiot in a BMW decided he could just go around us all and get up the hill. (mind you this is a country road with only 2 skinny lanes) What did he think we were all waiting for?.....Christmas? I hated it but I was glad almost to see the guy on the hill in the van slide over in the other lane sideways and get stuck in the ditch. The Beam~er had to stop. Then he was stuck. SO now we had two lanes going the same way of vehicles stuck...only 2 minutes from home. This Beemer idiot finally backed up and then floored it again ahead...only to have to back up again. The Freakin Idiot.....Finally the Shankster got out and gloved up to go help the poor van guy out of the ditch. I hated that too, but as he put it..do you want to be here in the dark? NO WAY!!! Luckily another guy got out of his car to help too and they got the van out of the ditch but not up the hill. The Beemer guy thought this was his cue to drive past everyone in the wrong lane again and get up the hill. He nearly hit the Shankster. I think the Shankster yelled at him...maybe something else...I didn't care...everybody else honked at him. Freakin Idiot. Finally somebody from way back had a bag of salt and took it up to the hill. YAY. the van got up and over the hill. Then a couple of young people decided they were going to follow in the Beemer's path and started in past us all who have been waiting 40 minutes. I know it didn't faze them..but we all honked at them too. Then I noticed the Shankster slipping and sliding on that hill. His back has been so bad and he just has too many problems and he had no business being up there. So I climbed over in the driver's seat (climbed over as I tried to get out and slid under the front tire .....like to never got myself out, sorta felt like a Fred Flintstone moment) and I drove on up towards the hill...scared to death I might add as I was slipping more than driving. There the Shankster was directing traffic both ways over the hill. I kept thinking how in the heck am I going to stop now and pick him up and still be able to get up the hill? Then I saw him run over into the grass.....he kept motioning me to go...so I kept going...Then I saw him slip...almost fall...then I rolled down the window and hollered at him to come on and jump! HE DID IT! jumped right on the window, hung on and said GO GO!( another Fred Flintstone moment) WOW....I love him...its funny now but I thought this was the most stressful ride home EVER! I managed to keep the car on the road until we made it home....I have not driven on the ice since my Postal Carrier days......... Finally we were home and safe after 4 hours on a 35 minute trip.

Life Is Grand. Or at the least...a Yaba Daba Doo Time..



oh and we sure could have used a GPS. :)