Soul Mate

This morning began as usual. I will leave it at that. But Shank left quickly, and while I was in the shower. After I got out I realized he did not take his water bottle, which was not like him. He didn't take his pills. That I didn't like. He takes them at the same time each morning and there are at least 2 that are MOST important. He also didn't have on his medical bracelet/necklace either and that bothered me more. He went for walk I was sure, as he tries to make sure he does that first thing. He is doing ok, but he has had some weakness and other issues that makes me worry about him, when he is out and alone. Now I don't profess to be someone who could save him if something were to happen while I was with him....but I still worry. Yes, me, motherworrywart. Anyhow, as I tried to call him on the walkie-talkie, I kept getting a signal that he was not available, and after a couple of more calls, I just looked up and saw his cell phone still plugged in. (duh) So that too was not like him at all. I grabbed my shoes, water bottle, cell phone and his pills and ran out the door with them untied and no underwear. (yes I had on clothes) But I did have the foresight to grab a bra and stuff into my purse. Anyhow, I thought that he needed his pills if nothing else and that was the most important thing at that moment. So I took dad's car and was hurrying down to where he walks. I no sooner got up to the second corner to turn and there He was coming towards me! And he holded up a McDonald's bag. I shook my head and we both headed back home. He was surprised I think that I would take the time to try to bring him all the things I thought he needed. He was like..."Oh you really do love me?".......DUH>>>uhhhh....YEAHH
Then I was like..."McDonalds?....for me?" He explained that even tho we neither one needed it...since we were having yet another rough start to a morning, he thought it would be nice for a McDonalds breakfast.
Seems we both were doing something for the other at the same time. Now I ask you....How cute is that?


Only thing I gotta do now, is explain to Shankie why there was a bra in my purse................... :)

Memories

I have been trying to get some pictures printed out for weeks now and nothing seems to be going my way...(so what else is new?) Then, I came across these pics in my folders...I am trying new things to see what works and what doesn't work. I kinda liked this and wanted to save it. Its not the best if you want to see all the pics..but it reminds me of pictures laying on a table and trying to find just that one pic you are looking for....

I miss all my albums with pictures...digital cameras are fun, quick and easy..but I sure miss my old polaroid and 35 mm Pentax.

But I sure wouldn't turn down a new Hasselblad.

Dreams......

110...Usual Stuff

Ok so according to blogger...this is my 11oth post. Crap. I wanted to make sure to post on my 100th post, like it was a big deal. I missed it. Sorta like I have been missing the last 4 years of my life. Oh well, so I guess it was in order to have missed it then. Ok then.



Yippee, woo hoo, hey its my 110th post people! To my most loyal readers......or more simply to Shank, SymplyAmused, Ammeg and Kim, thanks for stopping by to read my rants,raves, complaints, misfortunes (financial and otherwise), observations (I have had those, haven't I?), thoughts to myself, and all the other stupid crap I decide I want to write here. I have looked forward to writing and posting, except for recently...I actually didn't have anything to say. I also look forward to reading all of your blogs/emails. Its what I live for! :)
I started this blog for a couple of reasons. One mostly, to amuse myself. I do tend to crack myself up from time to time....ok most days, but that is beside the point. But, I also thought I would use it to write things down that are and have bothered me on living here for the past 4 years. I thought if I could write down my feelings about certain things, that it would somehow make it all better,Or that I would feel better. And that it could or would make this all more bearable. (Yes, I am stupid too.) One day upon writing it down, I looked at it again and thought that instead of it making me feel better it made me more anxious and just brought about all those feelings of bitterness that I have so come to know in the past few years. So I deleted it. All I could think of is that each time I came to my blog I would see those words and all the bad feelings might just come rushing back. I didn't need that. Nobody needs that. I will have to keep what I feel to myself...as I most always have.
Things just never change do they?

Only One Thing

In all marriages or relationships, I think sometimes your significant other can have 1 or 2 and yes maybe 3 things that just drives you out of your mind. I mean when they say or do it, it just can bug the ever lovin crap outta ya! I have to say there is just ONE thing that my loving, good hearted, sweet cheeked Shankie can do that has done just that. BUG me. For almost 27 years. Yeah really! I am not kidding......But I have never said anything, cause honestly it was one of those things that, well for lack of a better way to explain it...to each his own. How is that? I mean I do things the way I want. I drive to Walmart this way, cause I like the scenery, and I don't care how long it takes me to get there. Somebody else might choose to drive another way because it takes less time. See where I am going? So....To each his own.
Which brings me back to the thing. While Ammeg was here and after about 2 days of driving around and going places.....she asked Shank when he parked, why when he pulled into a parking spot why he didn't pull up to the one in front of that one, so to be able to just pull out when leaving? After all, your car will be heading out and you won't have to back out of the spot. Just easier she thought. ME too, I was right there with Ammeg. That is EXACTLY how I park and have wondered WHY OH WHY can't Shank do the same thing...but I never said anything, I just let him park where ever and however he wanted to. But Not Ammeg, she asked him. And from that point on, while she was here if Shank had the option to pull ahead in a parking spot...he did. For Her. Or so I thought.

Which brings me to today. We went to Walmart shopping. Its always a chore to find a good spot to park at Walmart...but today even though we figured with it being a holiday, the lot would be packed, it was not and there were lots of good spots to park. Shank drove, and as we approached the parking spot he continued to pull on up into the one in front of that, so to be able to just pull out upon leaving.

What? WOW? I could not believe it. I thought in my mind...Nice going Ammeg.......that was my first thought...my second thought?


AMMEG....PLEASE COME BACK!

52

I think that says it!

But I will add some more....

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday Dear Donaaaaaa
Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I Had A Good Time

Its been almost a month since my last post. I had been preparing for a visit from my longtime email friend Ammeg. She and Poppa arrived on September 5th and I could not have been more happy. Finally after 9 years of emailing, there she was, in person. I could not believe it. And Poppa hugged me as if he knew me forever. And gave me 3 kisses. One on each cheek and then again. 3! count em...3! That was too cool. I felt like I was in a foreign movie. I cannot still believe she came here to see me. After the first few minutes of their arrival, I knew it was going to be very hard when they left. It was. Which brings me to why I have not posted anything for a month. I am so depressed. I have had some ups and downs this past few years since being here in this house. I have felt down in a way I have never experienced before coming here. And I feel it again. I don't think I quit crying all the way home after seeing them leave at the airport. And I don't cry much anymore. I miss her. I miss him. So does Shank. We say it every day.

But we had a great time. It was the vacation of a lifetime for me,just like she kept telling me it would be. I enjoyed each and every minute of it. For 10 days I thought of nothing...no laundry, no cleaning, no dishes, no grocery shopping, no bills, no decision making each day for meals for anybody, no decisions on insurance, no decision on anything, no doctor appointments, no bills, no worries at all! And did I say I did not worry about paying bills? Well I didn't! And I worry about that in my sleep.

Anybody who knows me and knows about Ammeg, knows I just think she is the best. They all know of her kindness and generosity. They know how far she came to see me. They all know I just love her and have since the first few months of emailing with her. My only regret is when she was here I never got the chance to introduce her to my whole family. The time just flew by quicker than I ever expected it to. I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs to each passerby...."HEY LOOK HERE WHO THIS IS, MY FRIEND AMMEG! YAHOOOOEY" But I did not. But I wanted to. :)



We had a lineup of things to do, which seem to fall apart at the last moment as things were closed that I would never have thought would be closed. Is it just me or did everybody know that amusement parks close during the week after Labor day? And whats the deal with going to a flea market where there is only one Flea? (haha I mean stand) but Flea sounded cuter, what can I say...I still crack myself up on occasion) We went to a favorite restaurant that was closed...and they are open 24 hours a day....luckily there are a bunch of those and we found another open...but I could not believe the things that were closed...it became somewhat of a joke between us all. I am glad they had a sense of humor!!! Boy did they ever....I also tried to use my "expertise" in their foreign language, and ended up calling Poppa, a pistol. And he didn't seem to mind...just laughed. There are a lot of things like that, that are etched into our memories forever.

But we finally found a few things open to do and I had a great time. I hope they did too.



But here we are 3 weeks gone and reality has set in quicker than I wanted it to. Frank and I both have had dentist appointments, doctor appointments, we have went to the grocery, made decisions, got stinking calls on the medical bills and yes...we have gotten back to paying the bills too. But we still miss our friends Ammeg and Poppa.


I was ok at the airport on the day of their departure until the last moment when Poppa kissed me goodbye 3 times and said the most wonderful 5 words to me that just made my heart melt.



September 2007 I won't ever forget it. The best time ever!